Beautiful Moments

                                 For you formed my inward parts;  you knitted me together in my mother's  

                                 womb.  I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are 

                                 your works, my soul knows it very well.  Psalm 139:13-14

                           

You know those moments where you share something special with your kids and you know that their response will be just magical?!  Like if it was a movie, you just know that really awesome music would be playing in the background and butterflies would be fluttering about?  I LOVE those moments.

 I have found that really special moments like these tend to be spontaneous--they ask a question and I, of course, have a perfect answer! 

Actually, I had one of those moments today during lunch. 

Caleb:  Mom, what is a period?

Me:  It's that little dot at the end of a sentence.

Caleb:  No, Mom, like what girls get.

Oh, WOW!  Here's my opportunity to share how God designed our bodies so perfectly to conceive, grow, and carry a little miraculous life!!  Yay for these moments!

Me:  Well, every month, a woman releases an egg and during that time the part of the body that carries a baby gets really thick, like a blanket, with blood.  That way, if the egg becomes a baby, the baby will bury itself into the blood blanket and grow!  But, if the egg doesn't become a baby, the woman doesn't need the blood blanket and it comes out of her body.  ISN'T THAT AMAZING??

Beautiful music, butterflies fluttering, children dancing around.....

Luke: That is gross and now you owe me an apology for having to hear that.

Sometimes those special moments don't really go as planned.  Definitely don't think Luke is ready to hear how the egg becomes a baby!

Plans

"In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps"  Proverbs 16:9 NIV 

This is actually Linnea's favorite life verse, but I have stolen it.  When I was young, I planned out my entire life.  I knew when I would get married, I knew how old I would be when I had kids, I knew that I would probably have 2 kids and have lots of money and live in a big house.  I laugh because NONE of those plans happened like I had planned.  God had different plans for my life, and I am so glad He did. I got married a lot younger than planned, had kids right away, had way more than 2 kids, live in a small house and have no money!

Finn has had a fever for the past couple of days and he wants to be held constantly, which has given me time to just sit and look at him and remember how he didn't come into this world how we planned.

Luke faithfully prayed and prayed for another baby for our family, but it just wasn't working as quickly as we thought it would.  Yet, he continued to pray every night for God to give us a baby.  On May 4, 2011, I found out that I was pregnant--I was SHOCKED--and completely thrilled.  I was thrilled to have another baby, but even more thrilled that Luke's faithful prayers were answered with a "YES!"

Shortly after this, I was with the kids at a local homeschool co-op for our Friday classes.  I started to feel pretty lousy and knew something was wrong.  I grabbed Selah and rushed to the bathroom and started bleeding and clotting very heavily.  Bummer.  Selah looked horrified and I just told her everything was okay and we were just going to be quiet.  I was trying to figure out how I was going to get out of the bathroom, grab the 4 other kids from their classes, and get home without making a scene---I didn't want everyone to know that I was miscarrying--especially since I didn't know most of the people at this co-op.  I prayed for the Lord's help and left the bathroom.  I found my kids right away--thank you Lord--and was quietly saying that we had to leave early because I wasn't feeling good.

"WHAT MOM?  YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD?  WHAT'S WRONG?"   Shhhhh......come on!!  "Just come on guys, I'll explain in the car,"  I say as the bleeding is getting worse.  "WHY MOM??"  UGH.  Shush!  And then it happened....what I was dreading.....Selah started talking.  If you know Selah, when she starts talking it's never in a quiet voice and it tends to be somewhat inappropriate.  In a very busy hallway, with about 100 people, Selah says this in her loud, high pitched voice:

WE HAVE TO GO BECAUSE MOM IS BLEEDING FROM HER BUTT AND THE BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE.  I SAW IT.

Silence.  The roar of talking in the hallway became more of a whisper as the 4 yr old was trying to explain why we had to leave our co-op early. 

We made it to the van.....and then home where I continued to bleed heavily.  Later that night, we prayed.  I was devastated--mainly because Luke prayed so fervently for this baby and now this baby was no more!  We all gathered on my bed, praying, crying, confused.  Everyone except for Selah.  She was jumping on the bed, laughing, and full of joy.  This really irritated Luke--he was mad that Selah wasn't sad and didn't care!  Then she spoke.....

"The baby isn't dead.  It's alive.  It's a boy.  God told me!"  Jump, laugh, jump, laugh, jump.  By this point, Luke was just furious with her.  I explained to her that God took the baby and that it was okay--it was his plan.

"Nope.  He's alive.  God told me."

A week later, I started to feel sick.  If you've been pregnant, you know the sick I am talking about.  The deep pit in your stomach, nothing sounds good, churning kind of sick.  I decided to make an OB appt, just to make sure that the miscarriage was complete.  I took Selah into the ultrasound room with me because I really couldn't trust her in the waiting room.  The doctor had the screen turned away from us---and then he turned it around and said, "There's your baby.  A nice strong heartbeat!"

Selah whispered in my ear...."I told you, mommy!  He's alive!" 

Yes he is, Selah, yes he is.  On December 22, 2011, Finn was born.  Was his birth as planned?  Of course not!  Finn flipped in labor and his feet came out first!  Definitely not my plan.

"Stroked" by Lightning

Today is a rainy, thundery day.  The kids stood in the garage watching the storm and I warned them a couple times to stay in the garage because we don't want anyone getting struck by lightning.  After the warning, Selah came in very worried about where daddy was working today.  I thought this behavior was odd because she is not usually fearful of storms.  "Where's daddy?", she would fearfully ask over and over.  "Is he inside or outside?"  I finally realized that she was afraid that Steve would be working in the storm.  I assured her that daddy was a cautious person and that he would be careful if there was lightning.  "But, Mommy," she said with tears in her eyes, "remember when he was stroked by lightning last time?!  I don't want him to get sick again!"  Huh?  "You know, when he was stroked?  I don't want that to happen again." 

On April 10, 2012 at about 1:30pm, Steve had a stroke.  I received a call on Steve's cell phone at about 1:45pm that went like this....."Is your husband Steve?  I found him on the side of the road unconscious."  Wow.  How do you process something like that?  Caleb and I were on the couch reading when the call came in.  20 minutes before that, Steve and I had been talking....I was grumbling that I didn't think he was fulfilling his responsibilities with Alec and Linnea's science lessons.  I was pretty much being a super big jerk.  And now this.  I loaded the kids in the van--minus Selah who was in Florida with my parents--and we headed to the hospital.  In God's complete goodness, He gave me peace and calmness.  If you know me, peace and calmness are not my normal character traits.  I am much better at freaking out.  We prayed.  We cried.  We drove what seemed to be the longest drive ever. 

The next day, Steve was diagnosed with a moderate cerebellar stroke.  After tons of tests and scans, it was learned that he has a left vertebral artery dissection which caused the stroke.  He still has a blood clot that causes almost daily headaches and fatigue, but he is doing very well and is expected to recover fully within a year.  

Selah was in Florida during Steve's 5 day hospital stay.  We never told her anything about Steve being sick until she returned home. 

Today, she was worried that Steve was going to have another stroke.  I almost laughed when I realized that she thought you got a stroke from being "stroked" by lightning.  Funny girl!! 

Loaf of Bananas

The name of this blog,  Loaf of Bananas, is from one of the many "funnies" that came from my kids.  I don't know if my kids have a gift of saying funny, off the wall things, or if I am just blessed enough to be with them all day, everyday and am able to listen to and see all that they do.  Either way, I have so much fun writing about what they do and say.  It really makes the sometimes long days fun and full of joy!

Back to the name of the blog......About a week ago, Luke and I were walking through Meijer and I asked him to grab some bananas.  He asked if he should grab a whole loaf of bananas or just a few.  Instantly, he knew that somehow, that would make it to facebook.  I don't know if it's a look I give or what, but my kids always know when something is about to hit facebook!! 

I am so thankful for my life, my husband, my kids, my friends, and loaves of bananas!