Provision

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him?"

Matthew 7:11

This is one of my favorite verses.  It actually makes me smile everytime I read it!  Now, I am not a "name it, claim it" believer.  I don't believe that that is the gospel at all.  I do believe, though, that our Father delights in giving us good things--just because he loves us!  

Lately, I have been hearing many stories from other believers about how God supplied their practical need in the final hour---I LOVE those stories.  I LIVE for those stories.  It builds my faith up to hear those stories and I love spending time with believers that share what God is doing in their lives because it builds me up!

Everytime we go to Target, Selah asks for an "ICEE"---I usually say no.  But sometimes, just because I love her, and before she even asks, I turn into the line for ICEES and order it for her.  The smile on her face is enough to make me melt and I delight in giving her those special things!  I know that this is a completely flawed analogy to what our Father gives us, but I delight in giving good gifts to my children--how much more does our Father delight in giving good gifts to us!!  He gave us one of those gifts lately--and it was so completely amazing to me---way better than a Target ICEE!!

A few weeks ago, on a Friday, I was sitting at the computer to pay bills and realized that I was going to be $92 short.  Not a huge deal....I could adjust my grocery budget back even further than it already is, or not use up gas by staying at home, etc.  We are paying a lot per month in Steve's medical bills and don't have a lot of wiggle room in our budget---alright, we have no wiggle room!   

If you know me well, you know that I struggle with anxiety and I've just been more on edge since Steve's stroke--my brain likes to start with all of the "what ifs" and then I think too much and don't trust enough.  The Lord and I work on that almost daily!  I have been working on giving big things, little things, ALL things straight to Him and then trusting---something that is difficult if you struggle with anxiety--or even if you don't!!  So I was prompted to pray about my $92 need.  At first I felt silly to be praying about something so small because there are so many bigger needs out there than my need.... but I learned that my prayer was more than just the money--it was about trust and I believe that is why I was prompted to pray instead of move money around and panic!  My prayer went something like this:

"Lord, I feel really dumb praying about this, but I feel prompted to do so.  So, you know I need $92 more to be able to pay all of our bills this week.  Can you please supply this somehow? "

And then my prayer changed and I really felt that it wasn't me praying anymore--and if you're not a believer this will sound so crazy to you, but the Holy Spirit really took over and my prayer continued like this...

"Can you please show me that I can trust you by providing this small gift?  I know we are not supposed to test you, Lord, but you know how much I struggle with trust and I need to feel you right now.  I need to know that you ARE here and that I DO NOT need to worry about any of the unknowns that I over think on--especially the unknown with Steve and if you can supply this $92, I will know that you are with me and have everything under control.  Please show me, Lord."

And then I was convicted to immediately gather my children and pray with them....right now.  There are many times when my kids think I am crazy....many, many times.  I am kind of crazy, but I knew that I needed to be praying with them right this very second.  We all sat in our living room and I explained that we were going to be short $92 and that I felt the Holy Spirit convict me to pray and now I feel like we needed to pray as a family--the same prayer I prayed alone.  I also told the kids that they were not to tell ANYBODY about this need. 

By Monday, the money had not fallen from the sky or appeared in the mouth of a fish or anything.  I was fine with that--I figured it wouldn't come, actually.  Nothing like faith, right!!??  i actually was feeling some guilt for "testing the Lord."  Later that night, Steve came in the house after returning home from helping a friend and threw a wad of money on the couch.  A friend of his had called him and asked if Steve could help him with a project really quick, so Steve did--not for money--just a friend helping a friend.  The friend felt like giving him some money and handed him $95.  

The feeling that rushed over me was something I don't think I have ever experienced.  This small gift built the faith of my family so much---my kids were in complete awe!  Well, except Selah who said, "I knew He would give us the money."  Faith is not something that child is lacking!

Thank you, Father, for providing for that small need in order to help me to trust You in all things from small to big!  Thank you for providing just enough money to meet our needs....and $3 extra for an ICEE.